The Conversion Series : Part 3 - Building Trust
In the last article, we looked at how preparing your mood, purpose, and value proposition makes business development (BD) feel more genuine and natural—more like service than self-promotion.
In this article, I explore how to prepare and have BD meetings, and we see what happens with Erika (from the previous article) when that preparation meets a potential client or two.
Preparing for Relationship-Building Conversations
These tips are for the kinds of conversations that aren’t about chasing work—but building a relationship and seeing what emerges.
Being prepared, but not scripted, and showing up with presence, not pressure.
Here are some principles that help.
1. Focus on building trust
A key focus of the conversation is to build trust, which happens by demonstrating:
Competence – Knowing your stuff.
Reliability – Following through.
Sincerity – Being upfront and genuine.
Care – That you want the best for them.
You don’t need to be thinking about all four—but knowing where trust is strong and weak helps.
2. Do your Prep
Know their context:
What’s happening in their world?
Who do you know in common?
What might be relevant from your side?
Bring:
A few open, thoughtful questions
A few examples/stories of work you have done
An insight or two - about something technical and also what changes you are seeing in the market
One or two possible next steps
3. Let the Conversation Breathe
Let things unfold.
Show an interest in them and their role.
If you instigated, say why you’re there—simply.
Be mindful of when to shift the conversation to work matters — some people will want you to cut to the chase, others will want to get to know you first. Read the room.
Listen for:
What you have in common
What they’re really trying to achieve
What’s emerging beneath the surface
How you might be useful
4. Share What You Do
You’re not pitching. You’re trying to be helpful and exploring fit.
A few ways to open the door:
“Would it be helpful if I shared how we usually support clients in this space?”
“We’re seeing X more—curious if that’s something you’re seeing too?”
Don’t list services. Share:
The kinds of problems you help with
What you love about the work
What it makes possible for clients and teams without laying it on too thick
6. Offer Something Useful
Even if it’s not “your work,” be open to helping with:
A connection
A resource
A useful thought
If now’s not the time, you’ve still built some trust and learnt something.
Meet Erika
Remember Erika from article 2 - brilliant at what she does but BD? Not her thing.
Still, she knew she had to do something. She arranged to catch up over coffee with Ari—a former client from years ago. She got there early, already half-doubting the point of it. In her mind, Ari was just being polite. She was wasting his time and hers.
At 10:00am, he hadn’t arrived. At 10:04, still no sign. When he eventually showed up, they talked about holidays and kids. Erika tried to prompt a conversation about work, but it went nowhere. The meeting ended with polite smiles and a sinking feeling. She walked away thinking, Never again. I hate this.
With some help, she realised that she was so consumed by her own discomfort that she had kind of forgotten about Ari.
She pressed on, and arranged another meeting. This time she was reminded of what she enjoyed about her work and how her work helped her clients. She scheduled another catch-up—this time with Marian, another old client. This time, she prepared.
First she prepared herself, by reconnecting with her purpose: helping clients deliver projects that build trust, not just infrastructure. She felt this when doing the work, but when the context shifted to BD, it required her consciously bringing to the top her of her mind. That small act shifted how she was feeling—from resenting BD to actually looking forward to the conversation.
She thought about Marian’s context. What might be keeping her up at night? What might be shifting in the market? She identified a few risks and examples of how her firm had helped other clients manage them.
Two days before the meeting, she messaged Marian. “Looking forward to catching up.” And this time, she meant it.
The meeting ended up on Teams, not in-person—not ideal, but it worked. After some quick chat about weekends and TV shows, there was a pause. In the past, Erika might’ve hunched over a little and awkwardly talked about what she was doing.
This time, she sat upright and said:
“Thanks for making time. It’s been a while since we worked together and I really enjoyed that project and getting to work with you. I wanted to reconnect—and also share some things we’re seeing in the market. Risks are increasing in a few areas, and we’ve been helping clients manage those more effectively.”
She spoke briefly, then asked a few well-placed questions—not just about the work, but about what risks Marian was seeing.
The conversation opened. Marian listened and was engaged. It wasn’t a pitch. Erika listened intently—not for an opening to “get work,” but for the moments when the tone changed and for the issues that Marian seemed to care about most. Where she could help.
When she offered to run a short session with Marian’s team, the answer was yes.
Erika was different.
Her intention had changed. She wasn’t “doing BD.” to get work. She was reconnecting with someone she respected, showing up prepared, and offering something useful.
No pushing. No awkward silence. Just a clear, mutual step forward. Easy.
In the next and final article of the series, we see how Erika approaches things when work opportunities emerge.