Even with the increased uptake of AI and other forms of technology, it’s still the quality of conversations and relationships that will determine how effective we and our teams are in delivering high quality work. Most people intuitively know this, and some have these conversations well and deliver great work. However, many people who work with others struggle with this for a range of reasons. If you find that your work stalls, there are missed time-lines or the quality of work isn’t what you would like, chances are this approach will help.

This article picks up from our January discussion on Riding the Waves: How Teams Can Navigate Change and Create Value, a framework that helps teams stay relevant, committed, and effective. We explored three key activities: taking stock, committing, and coordinating—using surfing as a metaphor to illustrate these principles.

Let’s now go deeper into the first activity—taking stock.

Mike*, a consultant under pressure to secure new business for his team, found himself in a swirl of moods. His bosses’ frustration left him anxious and resigned, doubting his ability to succeed: What’s the point? It won’t work anyway. He was right. His efforts weren’t working as well as he’d hoped. Over time, Mike worked with a coach to help him articulate his firm’s value proposition and to prepare well for client conversations. But what made the biggest difference to Mike was becoming more aware of his moods and cultivating better ones for business development.

A common theme that comes up in coaching is people wanting to be more influential in their role. Influence is more than authority: it’s about having an impact across the organisation, resulting in meaningful change.

Take Simone, for example. She was technically skilled and well-regarded within her team, but was frustrated that her ideas weren’t gaining traction at more senior levels. She would share her views at executive level meetings only to feel dismissed or ignored. Simone wanted her work to matter and felt concerned that recurring issues in the business could be solved if only her and her team’s insights were acknowledged.

Being a Partner/Director/Principal in a Professional Services business involves keeping many balls in the air. Hitting budgets, generating work, keeping clients happy, navigating the politics and leading teams are not easy. Below are three common BD-related traps that I see people fall into and that keep people stuck, especially when relatively new in these roles, and some ways of getting out of them. Of course, everyone is different. What is a trap for one person may not be for another. These traps can also apply to Managers in businesses who need to deliver services across their organisation.

In this article below we draw on the inspiration from one of our clients who reshaped a relationship through a different kind of dialogue. Our belief is rooted in the profound impact of conversations: they define our successes as individuals and teams. The outcomes from these interactions, whether with clients or among ourselves, hinges on the nuances of mood, beliefs, and the values we bring forth. They form the bedrock of trust.

While coaching a leader, Jennifer, I found myself in a conversation with her and her boss, the CEO.

Each coaching engagement begins and ends with a triad meeting—myself, the coachee, and their sponsor. These meetings are like bookends, ensuring our goals are clear, our intentions aligned, and the coachee is supported from all sides.

During our initial meeting, the CEO shared his perspective that Jennifer could do with a spark, and communicate more enthusiastically, without really seeing his role in that. Jennifer, with quiet courage, shared concerns she hadn’t previously expressed. This honest exchange brought to light issues that had lingered beneath the surface.