Making Offers to Bring About Meaningful Change
Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash
A common theme that comes up in coaching is people wanting to be more influential in their role. Influence is more than authority: it’s about having an impact across the organisation, resulting in meaningful change.
Take Simone, for example. She was technically skilled and well-regarded within her team, but was frustrated that her ideas weren’t gaining traction at more senior levels. She would share her views at executive level meetings only to feel dismissed or ignored. Simone wanted her work to matter and felt concerned that recurring issues in the business could be solved if only her and her team’s insights were acknowledged.
In her coaching session, Simone shared her frustrations and her growing resignation and resentment, and it was evident how much she cared about the business. Her coach introduced the idea that influence can be fostered by first establishing relationships, understanding the needs and concerns of others, and then putting forward proposals (or offers) that align. This approach was in contrast to Simone’s initial method of presenting her ideas directly, without deeper engagement and without a collective appreciation of the problem.
Simone began setting aside time to get to know her colleagues better, exploring their perspectives on the issues and considering the impacts from clients’, stakeholders’ and senior management’s viewpoints. These discussions helped Simone, her team and her colleagues gain a more comprehensive understanding of the problem, the unspoken concerns and what solutions might work. Simone was also more conscious of her mood – and was more intentional about being curious, and in having resolve. This helped her to ride the ups and downs that are always part of these conversations. When Simone was ready to share her ideas, she presented three proposals for potential improvement to the Executive team, inviting feedback and collaboration from her colleagues. Each of the three offerings set out what tasks and outcomes she and her team would be responsible for and what she would need from others to make them work.
Ultimately, they agreed to trial one of her proposals as a starting point, a decision reached collectively. By including others in the solution-building process, she found they were far more receptive and willing to act. As time went on, Simone noticed that this approach—engaging through dialogue, rather than being directive or informative—led to a smoother, more aligned path to action. The influence she achieved felt more natural, grounded in a shared understanding and mutual respect.
Simone’s experience illustrates that true influence is rarely achieved through authority alone or sharing ideas or points of view. Instead, it’s built on two essential elements of trusted relationships and the ability to make timely offers that genuinely resonate with others. By taking the time to understand and include others, leaders can create solutions with “everyone’s fingerprints,” leading to outcomes that feel less forced and face less resistance. When people feel understood and included, they are more willing to embrace new ideas, making change a shared journey rather than a one-sided push. While this is an example of working with people inside the one organisation, making offers is also a crucial skill in business development conversations with external clients.
This article is fictional but the principles have been applied by clients in hundreds of occasions over the last 15 years. The principles come from Speech Act Theory that were developed for business by Dr Fernando Flores and Chauncey Bell (also known as Commitments Based Management), among others, and in Ontological Coaching by Alan Sieler.